Time: 41 Percent Think Election Could Be ‘Stolen’ from Trump

Forty. One. Percent. of Adult-Americans believe that Trump could a) win the election and b) be robbed of his victory by um. The press. Or Hillary’s nefarious Machine. Or. I don’t fucking know.

There are roughly 241 million Adult-Americans. In 2012, 53.6% of us cast 129 million votes. 41% of that number is 52,890,000. So. Just under 53 MILLION people believe that a) Trump can/should win the United States presidency and b) may be robbed of his due by villainy.

What I wasn’t able to discover in my 8-second google search is: how many of these 53 million folks who believe this didn’t also just wake up from a six-month coma to find out they’re engaged to Sandra Bullock?

Not enough, for sure. Because Americans (let’s just say it — conservatives) believe all sort of insane crap. A couple years ago, the Atlantic Wire summarized a Public Policy Poll, and offered some hard numbers:

Lizard people control politics - 12,556,562 Americans believe this.
Airplane contrails are sinister chemicals - 15,695,702 Americans believe this.
Bin Laden is alive - 18,834,842 Americans believe this.
The moon landing was faked - 21,973,983 Americans believe this.
Fluoride is dangerous - 28,252,264 Americans believe this.
Obama is the Antichrist - 40,808,825 Americans believe this (I cannot with this one.)
CIA developed crack - 43,947,966 Americans believe this.
Bigfoot exists - 43,947,966 Americans believe this.
The government controls minds with TV - 47,087,106 Americans believe this.
Medical industry invents diseases - 47,087,106 Americans believe this.
Vaccines are linked to autism - 62,782,808 Americans believe this.
New World Order - 87,895,931 Americans believe this.
Aliens exist - 91,035,072 Americans believe this.
Global warming is a hoax - 116,148,195 Americans believe this.
Bush intentionally misled on Iraq WMDs - 138,122,178 Americans believe this (either he did or Dick The Undead did).
JFK was killed by conspiracy - 160,096,160 Americans believe this (I mean, Oliver Stone was persuasive, so).

SIX MILLION-ISH MORE PEOPLE BELIEVE (a) TRUMP IS A WINNING CONTENDER (lol) AND (b) THE TARGET OF MASSIVE ELECTION FRAUD (eyeroll) THAN BELIEVE THAT THE GUVMINT IS WORKING OUR BRAINS BY TV REMOTE (more plausible than the notion that Trump wins over a population with demographics that look like this).

Upside for the rest of us: For Trump to get any real traction on this shit, he’s going to need to drill down into the Aliens/Global-Warming/JFK crowd. A new targeted outreach is in order, I think. And someone get Alex Jones on the horn; he’s got a great seed mailing list.

Kathryn Allyn

Jazz singer, political junkie, cautionary tale and nights'n'weekends Stig, on the Island of Misfit Toys.