Take the Win, You Dicks, Can't You?

Reading about the punching and sniping and snarling and generally freaking out, I was walking crosstown on 34th street wondering to myself, “Self, what the hell? Why can’t they just take the win and be happy?”

Self, I says, “They got all 3 branches, an empty seat on the Court waiting on their pleasure, plus another couple Supremes ambling toward banana peels as we speak. What can they possibly want that they don't have? Why are they still so pissed?  Are they worried we're going to react like they threatened to when they envisioned losing? Don't borrow trouble, fellas; it's been 10 days. There hasn't been time for even the most minor of setbacks. As of now, it's literally all win. Christ, have a tailgate party or book the Hooters in your town for a day. Order up some brewskis and wings; get some giant orange fingers to wave. Get in on the joke – buy up all the Cheetos down at the Piggly Wiggly, and throw a fucking celebratory gathering -- own that shit. Grin. Wave happily at the protesters, because who gives a good goddamn? You won the lottery. What do some losers with signs matter? Relax.”

And Then I saw this:

Salon: “Sore winner” syndrome: Why are Donald Trump’s supporters still so angry? Abraham Lincoln understood
"Trump … heads an undivided government and has … the power to enact his entire agenda with very little institutional resistance. And yet his followers are still filled with outrage and frustration, lashing out at the reeling and defeated left. 
The best description of this phenomenon comes from Abraham Lincoln in his famous address at New York’s Cooper Union in 1860. Trying to explain how impossible it was to deal with the Southern slave states using normal democratic means, he asked:
What will it take to satisfy them? This, and this only: cease to call slavery wrong, and join them in calling it right. And this must be done in acts as well as in words. Silence will not be tolerated — we must place ourselves avowedly with them. Senator Douglas’ new sedition law must be enacted and enforced, suppressing all declarations that slavery is wrong, whether made in politics, in presses, in pulpits, or in private. We must arrest and return their fugitive slaves with greedy pleasure. We must pull down our Free State constitutions. The whole atmosphere must be disinfected from all taint of opposition to slavery, before they will cease to believe that all their troubles proceed from us. -Abraham Lincoln
This is why the right-wingers are so angry. It’s not enough to win. We must agree that Muslims should be banned from entering the country, agree we should torture and kill suspected terrorists and their families, agree immigrants should be rounded up and deported, agree there should be guns in schools, agree women should be punished for having abortions. Until we declare that we are “avowedly with them,” they will continue to believe that “all their troubles proceed from us.

Ah.

(And also hmm.  Because by “we”, I assume Salon means the white people of the Left, since surely even the most rabidly racist, xenophobic and misogynist Trump supporter doesn't expect immigrants to celebrate their expulsion and Muslims to ban themselves? And I guess just the white dudes of the Left, because surely women who terminate pregnancies aren't expected to rejoice as they're remanded into custody? I mean. Right? But who knows; they are insane, so maybe they do expect exactly that.)

Whatever, Jethro, it’s not going to happen. You're going to have to suffer the pain of getting everything you want and doing anything you want without applause from us. 

Setting aside brown people and chicks not doing the hokey pokey to the wafting strains of their disenfranchisement, the Left isn't going to stop thinking you're under-educated, poorly socialized provincial trash, probably inbred and definitely bringing shame upon your Savior's name. We're not going to smack ourselves in the forehead, buy a muscle shirt and a pickup, burn our books, join the (right) church, cut holes in our favorite bedsheet and see it your way.

 It ain't much, and it probably won't make a damn, but. This is what’s happening:

Fortune: Trump Effect: Civil Liberties Groups See Surge in Donations

So I guess this means we’re in for a long slog through a bog of victors too sullen, mean-spirited and ill-tempered to even enjoy total victory. Or, and this is probably the deal, what you enjoy is being miserable, sulky sons of bitches.

Of course, when ya boy Donald appoints a bunch of in-group robber barons and other gents you been excoriating for RINOs, to run the country while he tweets from the 21 Club, you'll find a way to blame Washington. Or Obama-slash-Hilary in absentia, probably, because Tangerine Jesus can do no wrong, and boy howdy, talk about a victim culture. Y'all put the safe-space college idiots to shame.

Anyhow, this should be super duper fun. Can't wait.

Kathryn Allyn1 Comment